Why Adoption??!?

Ever since I can remember ALL I have ever wanted was to be a wife and a mom. More than anything. I had PLANS..big ones. I wanted to get married and try to get pregnant immediately, looking back I feel as though I can literally hear GOD laughing at my plans.

HIS plans for my life were slightly different.

So lets start from the beginning. In November 2011 I donated my eggs to an anonymous couple that had infertility issues. So for people who are unsure what this means. I went through MONTHS and MONTHS of taking hormone pills and giving myself shots in my stomach everything single day and doctors appointments every other day and then finally a minor surgical procedure to retrieve the eggs. At the end what ultimately would happen is they would be able to have a child because they now had eggs (even if they weren’t there’s) Some might think this is weird. But like I said earlier ALL I have ever wanted was to be a mom so I thought that if I couldn’t have kids I wold be devastated and would want someone to help give me a child.

So I did.

Tyler and I married shortly after and as PART OF MY PLAN we started trying to get pregnant immediately. We were two healthy 25 year old. I just ASSUMED it would happen right away.

After a YEAR of trying to get pregnant and struggling through infertility and the tears, heartache and anger….something happened.

That something was Africa. Sometime in late December I had an overwhelming calling from GOD that Tyler and I needed to take this trip to Uganda, Africa. When I told Tyler, Ya’ll he literally thought I had lost my mind. We had both just started new jobs and Lets be honest..we didn’t have $7k sitting in the bank to fly off to Africa. So, I tried….I tried hard to let this go, but I couldn’t. When I slept, I dreamed about kids in Africa, about the good we could do and most of all what God NEEDED us to do..for him.

So I continued to talk to Tyler about it and finally I think he realized that this wasn’t just anything, he could tell how passionate I was about this. I told him I didn’t know how we would come up with the money but we HAD to go. Tyler wasnt the only person that thought I was crazy…everyone did, including the family!

WHAT…AFRICA?!?

God told you to do this??

Uganda is DANGEROUS?!?!

your gonna die.

But seriously, no one had ever heard me talk about Africa or orphanages or truly my faith at all…Let alone a CALLING from God to fly half way around the world to spend time in an orphanage!

needless to say, I pushed on and for months my husband and I did fundraisers and people generously just donated money to help with our trip (those people will never know how grateful I am that they believed in us)

On August 31st, we got on a flight for our 3 1/2 week trip in Uganda, Africa working at Gods Grace Orphanage.Image

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This place.

These kids.

The happiness.

God.

It changed our lives. truly.

God started working adoption in MY heart early on in December when I first started talking about Africa. I talked to Tyler about it and he wasn’t on board so much. He wanted our own children. I talked to God about this a lot. If this wasn’t in my husbands heart, then why place it on mine. And if this wasn’t HIS plan for us then please let me stop thinking about it.

A few months before we left for Africa we started trying to get pregnant again (yes I know we shouldn’t have, going to Africa and all) and NOTHING.

While in Africa I could see Tylers heart changing as well. He fell in love, quick and hard for a sweet little boy named Kamoga.Image

I will be forever grateful for him and sad that he wont be ours. Tyler and I talked ALOT about adopting Kamoga and how much we loved him and how hard it would be to leave him. We even talked to the social worker in charge at the orphanage about adopting him. THIS is where the problems came in, to keep this short..

All the children at the orphanage are truly orphans but that orphanage doesn’t have government funding or have paperwork and legal documents stating each child’s orphan status. They were in the process of beginning to start this when we left (so we were told) It would be a few years before the kids would even be up for adoption, if ever.

This has been the hardest part. Loving Kamoga so much and leaving him behind. But we trust God, We were placed in the ONLY orphanage that the kids were NOT able to be adopted. So I believe that God put us there to open our hearts, open our hearts to adoption and the Plan he had for us. Tylers entire way of thinking changed because of that little boy. We are adopting and giving a sweet orphan in The Czech Republic a home because of Kamoga. He alone showed Tyler that he could fall in love with a child that wasn’t biologically his, that just because they didn’t look the same, they came from different places and didn’t have the same DNA that he could still love him as though he was his own and I will forever be grateful for that.

A 4 year old worked with God to find the path that would lead to our family.

Toward the end of our trip after realizing kamoga wouldn’t be an option, adoption came up again and Tyler was all in. He had witnessed how many kids needed a family, someone to give them holidays, family dinners, bed time stories, bubble baths with toys, birthday parties and most of all a life.

We talked ALL options…domestic, international which country. We have our reason for choosing international versus domestic mainly legal risks. Once we decided international it was time to decided from where. Africa was out because we loved and wanted Kamoga and it WAS and still is HARD leaving him behind, so Africa was hitting to close to home for us. Then Czech Republic came up, Tylers dads family is from there so we have a connection, which was important to us!

I looked it up and their is only ONE agency in the USA that adopts to the USA from The Czech Republic. Adoptions to the US from the Czech Republic just opened in October 2012 so 11 months ago. I emailed the agency, about 100 times. and finally we decided this was right for us. We applied and were accepted. The good thing about our program is, its so new that there are only 2 other couples now waiting in front of us. Most agencies have well over 200 couples waiting in line in each program. Last Thursday I found out that a couple at the agency got their “referral” which is the moment adopting parents wait for. Your referral is the moment you get matched with YOUR child! you get a call from the agency letting you know you have your referral and they email you your first pictures of your child and every single thing about them!

We are still expected to have a 2 year wait until our child is actually home with us but two years will fly by and I would rather give a child a home in 2 years, then never.

This adoption will cost us roughly around $35,000..i know crazy!  It will be exhausting and a lot of time and work but Tyler and I will be fundraising throughout the next two years constantly to raise this money! When I look at the cost I began to feel a little defeated and then the other day I read something in my “adopt without debt” book (lol) that was mentioned something Dave Ramsey said:

“There is not one example in the bible of God calling someone to do something and then using debt as a tool to accomplish it!”

This was a blanket of comfort to my ears. And I whole heartedly believe this. I have NO IDEA where this money is going to come from but I know it will come. It is Gods will that that we adopt, HE will provide that way just as long as we provide the work to make it happen. I want to fight, fight to bring our child home from the Czech Republic. And to show God that I WILL defend his orphans…by making ONE LESS.

The quicker we can get through these beginning steps the quicker we can get on the waiting list. The first part of our adoption will be the home study. Where someone comes to our house and inspects every aspect and tells us how it ISN’T child proof, what to fix and interview us and make sure we are suitable and not certifiable.

I am going to do TONS of awesome fund raisers, but we just found out we were accepted into the program on Thursday and we  will have to set up the home study ASAP which will cost us around $3500.00. We already have LOTS of fundraisers in the works but they will take a little bit of time to get together so if at any point, now or later you feel as though you want to help us bring our sweet baby home I will have a paypal set up. Once we get the home study done, I will be able to get a tax deduction ID to give everyone who donates!

A few facts:

-Our child will be 3 years or younger

-we didn’t care about the sex of the child so either.

-and healthy.

If anyone ever has questions feel free to message me, I will always love to talk adoption!

Anyone who would like to make a contribution toward our adoption and help us bring our baby home I will post the link below!

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_donations&business=mckeec87%40yahoo%2ecom&lc=US&item_name=Zaruba%20Adoption&no_note=0&currency_code=USD&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF%3abtn_donateCC_LG%2egif%3aNonHostedGuest

Thank you SO much from the bottom of our hearts for your support and for following our journey to bring our baby home and have ONE LESS ORPHAN. I will keep everyone updated every step of the way!

“Religion the God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world”   James 1:27

CZ

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6 thoughts on “Why Adoption??!?

  1. We are a family that adopted from Ethiopia in 2011 and our best fundraiser was hosting babysitting nights. We had 10-18 kids (I know that sounds crazy) for 4 hours. We charged $8 an hour for one child and if they had a sibling it was $5 more an hour. I fed the kids inexpensive take and bake pizza, played games and made an easy craft. We made between $300 and $500 a night. Not bad for 4 hours! You could even host it at a park if the weather is good. It was like throwing a big birthday party. I spread the word through our church and in our neighborhood. We initially planned to do this once a month during the wait but there were times when we did it twice a month because people always asked us to do it. Hope this helps you raise money!

  2. Hi from another young couple adopting!! It was very strange reading your blog post because I feel I could have written half of it. Way back in middle school I for some reason had a heart for Africa. My husband and I decided to adopt from Ghana last summer, and same as you, it took my husband awhile to get on board, mainly because of finances. We were at the end of the adoption process (after two trips to spend time with our children) and had a failed adoption right before we were to bring them home. I thought from the beginning that this was MY plan, but I should have known better 🙂 Our first trip to Africa opened many doors. My sister has been living in an orphanage for the past year and no doubt will continue to something along the lines of service in her life. My parents are adopting two older children from the orphanage she lives at. Our extended family got involved with a fundraising event we put on to benefit a non-profit in Ghana.

    It’s interesting to watch the plan unfold when one door closes.

    We are in the adoption process again and now my husband’s main concern isn’t the money. It’s amazing to see that when you follow God’s plan, how the finances come together. We were most successful with AdoptTogether and garage sales.

    Good luck to you on your journey. No doubt the process will be one of the hardest, but it will sure be worth it. ❤

    1. That so amazing! When I was referred to your adoption site, I thought the something! They are our he and love africa! Lol

      So are y’all back on the waiting list? My husband is NOW so excited and we are so thankful that HIS plan worked out and ours didnt! We did a garage sale for our trip to africa and it went great so we will def do another one in the spring!

      I will have to check out Adopt together!
      How amazing that your whole family has come together and got involved! Is your sister working at an orphanage in Ghana?

      Excited to follow your journey along!
      CZ

  3. This is very exciting news for y’all! Congratulations on following the desires of your hearts, which God has blessed. I am convinced His three answers are Yes, No, and Wait. Our infertility journey lasted 7years, which raked up the bonus points. I’m glad you aren’t going to make your body go through that again, and you can use your money on a deserving child who needs a wonderful home. Blessings, RTA

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