Jesus is the same today as he was yesterday as he will always be.
It has been a CRAZY 3 1/2 weeks! About 6 months ago I met a girl named Nikki Clowers SOMEHOW through instagram. We crossed paths through the adoption community and began stalking each other immediately. (creepy..yeah right. you know you do it also) She and her husband also took a mission trip but to Costa Rica to work in an orphanage. We clicked instantly. We were both adopting. Her domestically and us internationally. We found each other on facebook, eventually swapped phone numbers to text and then started talking on the phone. We basically had an online dating..long distance relationship going on. We talked adoption of course but always talked about our faith as well. I will text her when I’m struggling with adoption costs or fears and the normal when I am just full on hurting from missing Kamoga and worrying myself sick.
She’s there. all the time always even trying to slip me a text while sitting at church letting me know she is praying for me and will message me when she gets home. Having friends is amazing. Having friends that understand your heart, pain and sorrows all while knowing how to talk you through it is priceless.
A few months ago Tyler and I were asked to speak in a local church about our mission trip and adoption journey. Nervous as crap…we did and it went great even though I was shaking to death the whole time. But people heard about Jesus and what he did for us and how he lead our hearts to adopt his children to be ours..
WELL, a few weeks after this I got a call saying there was a woman that heard us speak that day and wanted to know if we would be willing to adopt this little baby that was dropped into her lap. The first person that came to mind was Nikki. We are fully committed to the Czech Republic and fighting for Kamoga so I knew this was God working through me for Nikki. I got some more information and then called Nikki. Fast forward a little and the next day her and her family drove from FLORIDA to TEXAS to meet this baby girl and fight for her. Nikki and I had never met in person..just on FB and Instagram and we had talked on the phone and texted all the time. IT was like we had known each other for years. If you follow her blog you know the rest…She has been here around 3 weeks living in my home and I would do it all over again.
The adoption world is so huge but so small..it is this tight knit little community of these boldly passionate mamas yearning to bring their children home. Longing to protect the least of them and DREAMING of glorifying God through his own plan!!
The point in all of this is, God meets us in our journey. He knows our needs and how to fulfill them. The journey is not always easy and when I say not always easy…it is never easy. Adoption is hard. Longing for a child on the other side of the world is hard. Seeing your now family (Nikki) go through her second failed adoption is HARD. She is a strong girl but you can only be strong long enough to get you to the next breakdown…really. She fully leans on Jesus in these moments which ultimately carry here through these times.
When I am bored at work or feeling sorry for myself because I am just physically having chest pains looking at these pictures of him shoveling food in his mouth because he is hungry..
Or when he is a sleeping beauty…
I try to remember we all have pain. Maybe different types of pain but we all have it. My pain or Nikki’s pain isn’t necessarily worse or better than yours but the one thing we ALL have in common is pain and a king. We have a God that allows us to fall at his feet and lift our pains up to him. He will take our burdens on his back and carry them for us…
Y’all Tyler and I…we are kamogas people. God brought us to him and that was all it took. He is ours forever now. We fight for him daily. we are not able to put too much online because it is a sensitive situation but just know nothing will make us back down. nothing. Of course it is hard but just know when you call us strong…where we are getting our strength from. It is always a domino effect…God finds us in our journey placing the appropriate people in our lives to carry us through to where we will be.
There is always a certain amount of pain in me that noone will know of for Kamoga..But in those moments. Jesus finds my heart. He picks it out of a crowd as though he knows I can’t take much more and puts a certain amount of comfort over me that evokes immediate release of my pain to HIM.
He will take our pain but he can’t take something that isn’t given to him. GIVE. IT. TO. HIM.
My soul will rest in your embrace. For I am yours and you are mine.