I sat in awe seeing my son share his yogurt with the other kids at his home. I know my boy is hungry. You can physically SEE he is hungry and yet he gave it away. All he had. Which was a cup of yogurt. He gave it away.
Why does it take a 4 year old in Africa to put us in our place? I feel like Kamoga, a 4 year old on the other side of the world is more of what God looks like than most of us here. Including me. And he doesn’t even know it.
But God notices him, Gods notices the least of them..
Sometimes it is so easy to be scared and tremble with fear at the very thing we know is right and God is leading us towards but how cowardly would that be. To walk away from something Jesus is calling us to because of fear is the same thing as saying you don’t trust him to cover you with a blanket of comfort through the journey and it means your doubting that the very minute you might break he is there to hold the pieces together.
I can’t be entirely sure but I bet somewhere deep down Jesus was a little scared to be nailed to a cross and beaten but he knew how many souls it would save. He knew he would be protected. And he was.
When I daze off during the day I feel myself drifting to Africa. Where they are some of the poorest in the world financially but the richest in Faith. A faith like you couldn’t imagine…
I know for all of the AMAZING people that follow our adoption journey, you think I am strong and some of the time you would be right! Sometimes I straight up feel like a power house that can and WILL take on the worlds problems and alleviate poverty. But in all honestly a lot of the times, I am sitting on our kitchen counter crying to my husband about what I struggle with, how I struggle with being what God needs, how I worry that people are judging me thinking maybe I talk too much about Kamoga and not enough about our child in the Czech Republic, Tears stream down my face and my chin immediately starts to tremble when I think of my son lonely, cold, sick or hungry. How I feel physical pains in my side from longing to put him to sleep in my arms. I struggle with being so incredibly excited about seeing and meeting our child in the Czech Republic knowing that child’s birth mom might possibly be questioning her faith right now or her life because she has lost her child that will soon be my child..and because of the unknown. I could go on for days really.
I am not always strong but I do my best. The ONE thing that gets me through the struggle is leaning on a God that literally carries me. When I break down and am praying my guts out, I notice I always tightly clinch my fists because I am so passionate about what I am saying. In those most intimate moments I slowly begin to feel at ease when I can feel Jesus’ spirit roll up my arms and around my neck and into my heart where I immediately feel at ease knowing I have Christ on my side and nor human interactions, financial difficulties, paperwork red tape, shut doors or a million (really a million) e-mails telling me “never going to happen” could stop me from my child…but more importantly to follow through with a promise I made to God. Whatever he asked I would do no matter what the risks…and I meant it.
I ask you to do the same. Don’t get so fixated on something that you aren’t able to see the bigger picture of what God is doing in our lives. I can absolutely do this. I am so adoption crazy right now that sometimes I need to take time and continue to build up the relationships around me. Kamoga and our child in the CR have moved so many people to follow our story and those people ultimately end up hearing about Jesus because we are BIG Jesus lovers around here. But honestly, if all of this isn’t for the glory of God anyways then it is not being perceived correctly. Yes we are adopting but you have to know we literally could not be doing this without the heart of giving that our lord has. He works through you all for our kids!
We love your hearts more than you could truly ever know.
We as people have drifted away from believing in something that is not tangible, something for which we cannot not physically see or hold. Can we just take it back a little? I love this verse. It’s so perfectly fitting..
“But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”
Love, CZ and my boy, Because God he is gorgeous. He is a world changer…one cup of yogurt at a time.
IF you would like to donate any amount toward our adoption’s here is the paypal link. Thank you for following our journey to our life story.