When we first started this adoption process people would say small comments about our decision to adopt and it use to bother me and I might have gotten a little defensive about it. People would post blogs or opinions about how they thought it WAS NOT ok to fund-raise for an adoption, that if you couldn’t pay for it by yourself then you really shouldn’t be adopting. That having an interracial family is going to hurt our child more than help them.
I mean really this list goes on and on people, and I don’t care who you are at some point you start to let these things get to you a little. Noone likes to hear negative feedback on something they believe they are doing with really good intentions on all parts.
BUT sometimes I think we all need to take a step back and see the bigger picture, decide were we once in that spot? For the most part I truly think people don’t say these things to be hurtful I think they say them because they aren’t that educated about adoption and what is appropriate to say and what statistics are true and how to address a question.
I was with a bunch of friends this weekend and they wanted to know everything that was going on with Kamoga, My sweet friend Megan started her questions off with “I am completely new to this and don’t know much so…” That is so appropriate it! How could you know if you aren’t adopting? We knew nothing…
On Monday, Tyler and I went to the post office mailing off all of the adoption auction items we had and we were talking a little about our adoption and that we were adopting from the Czech Republic and Uganda and the post office lady without hesitation says..
“So will they be black?”
A few months ago this would have annoyed me to no end and these are responses that would have immediately popped in my head.
“WHY DOES IT MATTER”
“No, there is a strong Asian community in Uganda”
” YES, is that ok with you?”
BUT..instead (because now I know she meant nothing offensive by that she was just curious, even though you still should not ask someone that) all I said was, “YES!, (in my BEST proud, excited mama voice) want to see a picture??” and then she proceeded to tell me how absolutely adorable our son was.
Whether it is adoption, pursuing going back to school, wanting another child, wanting no children, making a big financial decision, starting a business, starting to be healthier, going on a mission trip, starting a new job, OR taking ANY leap of faith at all…
You have to know this.
People are always going to hate. Maybe not because they don’t agree with your decision maybe it is just because they wish they were in your position. But none the less it will happen, hatorade is a strong drink and it’s like a fountain..everyone wants a drink. But lemonade is so much better!! Happiness and love and encouragement always wins. What if we lifted our sisters and brothers around the world up just a little more, for that one negative comment you were going to say, replace it with a positive one. Start with just one a day..
Adoption for us is kind of like life in general, there are days when you are SO upbeat and excited and decorate your entire child’s room even though you don’t know the age or sex (don’t judge me) and then there are days when you want to shut all the blinds, sink down on the couch, under the blanket, grouchy to your spouse and want the world to leave you alone. And maybe just maybe if you are REALLY sad…you go fall asleep on your child’s bed with your cat and some stuffed animals.
YOU WANT YOUR KIDS HOME. You are mad and frustrated and annoyed. I know it’s shocking…but it’s true, I get grouchy.
Just in that moment when you are about to lose it, he comes in and saves us, saves us again like he has every other time. God comforts us and protects us, he gives your husband or wife the right words to soothe you or maybe just the arms to hold you while you sob for your son on the other side of the world. He provides the support system to carry you through the waiting and the tough days of “a bad e-mail”, God gives us a community of people to rally around us when they see we are sinking.
When the financial burdens start overwhelming you and you are going over budgets to see how we are going to get our kids home, you have ANOTHER fundraiser and he shows you time and time again how he is going to provide for us, as long as we entrust our trust in him.
We cannot decide when God should step in and show up for us. HE knows when the time is right! God has consistently affirmed to us that Kamoga is our son and that there is a child waiting for us in the Czech Republic that IS ours!
Shelly Giglio said something a few months ago that has seriously STUCK WITH ME! She said,” ALOT of people’s futures hang in the balance of our YES’S” and this could not be more true..
Had we decided to not follow Gods obvious call for us to adopt from the Czech Republic and then that Kamoga was in fact our son and that we needed to be the voice to his life and bring him home also…had we been too scared and NOT trusted in God to pursue these adoptions it would change the unforeseeable future for our children.
When we say NO, It does NOT just affect us, it affects ALL of the people whose lives we were about to change. Just because we cannot see into the future you have to know in your heart that we are about to change lives. It is just up to you whether that will be in a positive way or a negative way.
Yesterday Tyler and I were BLOWN away with the most amazing gift. We received an email from our agency saying that we had an anonymous donation sent to the agency on our behalf. SOMEONE sent $2,600 toward our adoption costs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We cannot even begin to describe what this means to us, Whoever donated this money, you HAVE to know that you are a God send and just another reminder how GOD has sent warriors on our behalf. I am literally sitting here not knowing what to type…
I just have no words. When we read this e-mail, I immediately wanted to fall to the ground on my knees thanking God for sending this person on our behalf. To know that someone loves us and our kids so much that they sent so much money to help us get them home, is something so beautiful and amazing that only our God could dream up. PLEASE if you know who did this, or YOU sent this money…please tell us! Thank you doesn’t seem like enough…This is such a HUGE gift to our family!!!!!!!!
My whole point of this blog post was the devil and the haters…they will ALWAYS be there. But, God has a KINGDOM, he has a billion people here on earth who follow him and believe in him and those people he sent for us. He has supporters, encouragers and people who love him.
These people, they are lemonade. So go dream big, be bold, take the leap, make the move, start the business, adopt the child, go on the mission trip, write the book, start the blog, take the new job, and glorify God through all of it..
Because we have the lemonade.
And please…If you know who sent this money, we WANT TO KNOW!!!!!