So we got a big FAT no..now what??

So you ALL have been through the trenches, in the valleys and up on the hills…I mean you people have BEEN THERE!

So naturally I want to bring yall through what we have been through lately and try to get some questions answered on where we are at now in both adoptions! Please know that Tyler and I made the decision from day one of our adoption journey that we would make this public and bring everyone along with us on the ride. So here we are…mid-roller coaster friends and things can be a little rocky so stick with us!

So I will start with the Czech adoption. ALL of our paperwork is in and we are officially approved to receive a referral OR put in for a waiting child.

Definition time:

Referral- This means the agency matches us and this child for all tense and purposes is a “healthy” child. Keep in mind what they call healthy and what we call healthy are different.

Waiting child- This child for all tense and purposes is considered to be either not healthy, some sort of disability or some reason she/he would not be an “idea” child. <—-even writing that makes me sick. These are KIDS!

OK, back to the journey. So on June 20th tyler and I received a profile on the most gorgeous little 4 year old at the time girl but she turned 5 in July, that was a “waiting” child. Can I just say when we started this process we never DREAMED of a adopting a 5 years old. We thought awww we will get a sweet little baby. But them BAM!!! God said mmmm let me pull your heart strings a bit. And boy did he. We fell for her. Her smile..her picture I have had on my phone for almost two months. dreaming and wondering and praying. I prayed ALOT.  As open as we may be I will never speak about the “conditions” or “disabilities” they consider our children to have…The little girl ended up not being ours so it isn’t my place to speak about it and I don’t want a child to be labeled because someone said they had a disability.

I find it so funny how God works. How he moves and pulls and  shows you something you would have never imagined would be part of YOUR story. When I first saw her profile in my email, my immediate first thought was…”She is too old”

What a brat I am.

And then within 24 hours we were begging her to be ours. I think sometimes it isnt necessarily that God won’t give us what we want but he want’s us to be doing things for the right reason or just to see just HOW much we are willing to do for him regardless if that’s what we had in mind. After I had that immediate first thought of thinking she was too old my next thought was…Are we looking for the “perfect” child to fit into our story or are we here to open our arms and home to whatever Gods has in store for us?

Tyler and I might end up with a sweet romanian baby like we originally wanted but for the last 6 weeks all I wanted more than anything is to get an email saying we had a 5 year old daughter…and she was ours and we were hers.

But we didn’t. She isn’t ours. But she has a family and that is all that matters.

 SO WHAT NOW??? So now..we wait a little more. Now we are kind of back at square one with a child. All of our paperwork is still good, we don’t pay any extra fees or anything like that…nothing changes on that end.

So now we wait for a referral or we will eventually get a profile on a “waiting” child that we will again put in for and wait another 6 weeks or so. My agency is the only agency in the states but Czech Republic adopts their kids out to other countries also so there are couples in Italy or Germany that might put in also. When it is a waiting child, the profile goes out to every agency they work with and anyone interested puts in for the child and then there is a deadline and a committee will choose a family!

With the sweet girl another family was chosen merely because they had been waiting longer. fair enough.

It could be this week we get another profile, it could be in 3 weeks. We have no idea, there really isn’t any rhyme or reason to it.  A little fact we haven’t told many people but we got approved for a twin or sibling set also…so there could be that.

So now we continue to wait..

Now to that sweet like boy in Uganda–

To even half way understand what we are dealing with you have to understand things in Africa move ALOT slower than they do here! Our main goal right this moment is trying to get Kamoga moved to a place where he can legally be adopted. Where he currently is, is not a place that does international adoptions. Things look positive right now they just move so dang slow.

Unfortunately because he is not legally ours I can’t talk a ton about what is going on but KNOW that Kamoga has our ENTIRE heart. I talk to the director of his center a few times a week and spent 20 minutes on the phone with her this morning. 

I am DYING to go see him but as you can imagine that is EXPENSIVE and we just cannot afford it right now so our current plan is when we go to the Czech Republic to pick up our child there (we have to be there 9 WEEKS) because we are already half way to Africa, I will take a week of that and go spend it with Kamoga and Tyler will stay with our child in Czech Republic.

Is it ideal? No

But these are the situations we have been given and we are doing the best we can to figure them out. We fully identify Kamoga as our son and we would never in a million years go 2 years without seeing any other child of ours and I can’t imagine any other parent out there would either so even if I have to put it on a credit card. I am going to see my son.

I hope this is able to answer a few questions. We love your encouragement and words and notes and gifts. It is truly humbling and continues to show us how Gods love is unwavering.

I stand strong in Him, because I am so incredibly weak on my own.

And that is the truth.

(I will try to update more often, I know I am kind of sucking in this department)

love, CZ

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2 thoughts on “So we got a big FAT no..now what??

  1. Thank you for sharing your update. Praying for you, Tyler and your babies. I suck too at keeping blog updated, especially after getting our baby girl. Said baby girl is turning 4 tomorrow! It goes so quickly!

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