A true surrender

Press play then read:)

 

It is almost nearly impossible for me to write with out listening to worship music and it is almost nearly impossible for me to listen worship music without crying. God moves the very depths of my soul when I hear his music.

Every single morning on my hour drive to work I listen to nothing but worship music. I find tears rolling down my cheeks thinking of the sacrifices that were made on my behalf and a love that is given without question. I usually just listen to Pandora but EVERY SINGLE MORNING right before I get to work I put “I Surrender” by Hillsong on and I have it timed out perfectly to know when to press play. I turn my music up and I listen to these words and every day I work more and more on actually following through with the words in this song.

“I surrender”

I try to think of what that would actually look like to surrender it ALL over to Jesus. What honor that would bring Him. I then think of how I fail at this miserably daily because I feel as though I need to have control..I WANT control. I want to know the outcomes, I want to what people are thinking, how this is all going to play out.

But TRUE surrender, the kind where you place it all at Gods feet and open your arms wide and truly surrender to what he has planned and TRUST that plan. Well can I just speak for us ALL saying this has GOT to be one of the hardest things ever to do.

But my heart aches for that. As much as I THINK I want to know the out comes, want to know when or IF we will ever actually become parents, where we will end up buying a house, what the future holds..

I want true surrender more.

Because at the end of the day, knowing all of those things won’t bring me peace they will only bring  more unanswered questions. True surrender however brings about a worry that is potentially non existence knowing that our plans, our life, our family, our future and outcomes are all brought about because God has led us to them. The people that are in our lives, the paths that are crossed, the experiences we have, the moments of worry…GAH there are a lot of those, the chances to fail, the chances to succeed….well those are in our lives because they are leading us to where we are going.

Surrender trumps everything else.

My prayer daily is to surrender my fears and worries to Gods knowing if I would just fall, he is already there ready to catch me.

He always has been.

He always will be.

Love, CZ

 

 

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