I get asked this question ALL the time. I get messages about it, emails and I see on other’s post on Facebook. The question looms and looms and looms and I always know my Honest, whole hearted true answer and I never say it. Not one time.
How did you afford a $35,000 adoption? I would love to adopt one day but I could never afford that…
I hear it all the time and you know what I tell people? I go into explanations of different fundraisers I have done and bake sales, t-shirt sales, adoption auctions, amazingly generous donations, necklace fundraisers and more.
I tell them how many grants are available to each and everyone of us. And every single part of that is factual, I actually DID do all of those things and it was exhausting and amazing, but ultimately it isn’t how I was able to pay for my adoption.
If I were to tell people how I feel as though my adoption was really funded, I automatically feel vulnerable, the eye rolls, the OOOK but really’s, the yeah yeah yeah’s etc..So I don’t I tell them about the fundraising and the countless hours spent on it and grant applications.
I feel as though my adoption was funded because my belief in it actually happening. The belief that the God I pray to, cry to and look up to could pull it off. That those words, “If he brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it”–That those words might actually be true.
Don’t get me wrong there were days that I struggled and I was scared and overwhelmed but anytime that happened I just remember ALL that God had done so far.
When we received the call about Foster we were unsure about the costs of the adoption, We were told $33k but the social worker had to check on any out of state fee so she said she would call us back. While we were waiting for her to call us back Tyler and I both 100% agreed if the fees were 1 cent over $33k we HAD to walk away, that there had to be a cut off. So she called back (I had her on speaker) and she told me the fees would be $35,090 because we lived out of state. My heart kind of dropped.
I put her on hold and told Tyler as he was sitting and I was standing in front of him, my phone on mute while she sat on hold waiting on our answer. I told him that I just couldn’t possibly believe that our God is big enough to do all of the other things he has done for us but not big enough for this. I couldn’t possibly believe that the God I pray to, has limits.
He said, “Tell her yes, let’s go get our son”
And we did just that. As I sit here writing these words on the floor in my living room with my son, Foster having tummy time in front of me I can’t imagine what we would have missed out on, the special moments we would have never had the chance to have, the honor of being his parents..had we said no.
Almost a year ago I listened to Shelly Giglio speak and she spoke one sentence that moved me to my knees.
“A lot of people’s lives are hanging in the balance of your yes” -Shelley Giglio
A yes can be really scary.
A no can be damaging.
The result will be life changing.
We have to make some really big decisions in life and we are human, it’s so hard to know what the right answer is. But the best way to start to navigate what decision to make is to..
Put your head down and your palms up.