She spilled her heart and now I am sharing it with you in this TWO part blog post:
What Does Adoption Mean to Me?
Where do I start? No words. It took me quite a bit of time to think about how to answer that question. You would think that question would be easy to answer for a birth mother of thirteen years, and one who has always been beyond grateful for the option of adoption. Grateful is not even the word to describe this completely selfless act – when a woman puts her child’s well- being above her own feelings or desires. I have never traveled out of the United States, but I do know that this country I live in is a land of freedom and opportunity. Boy, do we take for granted what opportunities we have here. Not until about two years ago, did I think much about how my decision of adoption has been such a blessing in my life. This was also around the time that I discovered how much I took the option of adoption for granted.
I am shouting to the world, that open adoption is…
– A safe choice
– It provides non-judgmental support and assistance
– A choice that opens the door to more choices
– A choice that brings joy and hope
– A beautiful story in every way
– A new beginning for a mother and her child
– An opportunity to start over
– A better life for a precious child
– An added, extended family
– A story worth sharing
– A chain reaction of love
– An opportunity and advantage that many women do not take when facing an unplanned pregnancy
– A life without the heartache and regrets of an abortion
So, what does adoption mean to me? Adoption means that there are women in this country of opportunity who know nothing about it. There are women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy, who feel scared, alone, are hurting, or are being pressured into an abortion, and they are not considering this other option of hope. This is where a birth mother’s presence evolves into action.
I currently spend my time peacefully standing and praying outside abortion centers. I have been doing this on and off for almost eleven years. During my time outside of an abortion center two years ago, freezing and wet from the rain, I thought: Do abortion-determined women really know about this blessing in disguise? Certainly the choice of adoption is worth, if anything at all, being able to hold and kiss the little forehead of their newborn baby that is currently growing inside of their tummy. And surely you can see my pain, heartache, and discontent watching women walk into and out of abortion centers feeling many emotions, in various circumstances, and not even knowing about this other supernatural act of love.
Many young girls only see two options in front of them: Parenting or abortion. If I could count how many times I have had conversations with intelligent women walking out of abortion centers who are grieve-stricken, conveying they wish they had known about another option, like adoption. If only I could put into words the many wounded women I have come into contact with that do regret their abortion, longing they had someone at that moment in their lives to tell them about all of their options, such as adoption. I know first hand the feelings and thoughts of abortion. Before I became a birth mother, I was a sixteen-year-old naïve girl being pressured into an abortion. My story could have easily ended at the abortion center, but because there were peaceful and faithful people who told me about this distinct recourse from abortion, His forgiving hand refined my situation.
Life can be beautiful after choosing adoption. During my pregnancy, I did not think that season of my life would pass, but it went by quick. Giving birth to my birth son through support and assistance from caring people around me – being able to hold my birth son, rock him, and sing to him before saying my “Good-byes” was worth every bit of back pain and health complication. After placement, I survived, seasons changed, time caught up with me, and I now have my own bundles of joy. And to this day, I have a flourishing relationship with my birth son. But even if I were to have no contact with him, his life was still all worth every bit of sweat and stress. If these precious moments can ensue for me, then they can transpire for any woman facing an unexpected pregnancy. That is the beauty of what open adoption is today. Does our current society truly know about adoption today? Or are we still stuck in the dark ages when, desolately, women awaited the fait of their babies taken from their arms shortly after birth because of the social system before the nineteen sixties?
As a birth mother today, adoption means that I have a responsibility to share my story for someone else, because this is not about me anymore. It was never about me in the beginning. It was about my birth son. Women, who are in a crisis pregnancy situation and contemplating abortion, need guidance from a birth mother to offer them empowering choices – Parenting or adoption. Birth mothers have been there, done that. Our younger generation desires to speak to real people who have made this different decision. As open adoption becomes more prevalent, birth mothers have these amazing adoption experiences and the strength to help other women see that shining light at the end of the tunnel. The media does not understand this adjudication that relies on a mother to give beyond herself. And abortion centers depend on – you guessed it, abortions to stay in business.
You see, it is easy for us in the adoption triad to know the blessings of adoption and how to get that far into that decision, but women facing unplanned pregnancies know nothing about that exact process unless we speak up. Birth mothers have the opportunity to change people’s perceptions of adoption with their own individual, distinct adoption story; thus giving our younger generation the courage and knowledge if they were to encounter an unexpected pregnancy. This is about using our anecdotes to help another person in need. This is about loving our neighbor. This is about changing the world. Yes! Birth mothers are that sacred and powerful in this diverse universe!
Me and my current son..
STAY TUNED for the second part of Callie’s beautiful heart on Adoption TOMORROW!!!
IF you would like to know more about adoption please email me at Casey@christianadoptionconsultants.com