I recently had the chance to talk with Ashley Mitchell owner of Big Tough Girl and birth mom about what adoption means to her, I hope you enjoy her heart felt answer!
What Adoption Means to Me:
My name is Ashley Mitchell and I placed a son for adoption almost 10 years ago. The meaning of adoption has changed to me so much over the years. At first it was a means to an end. When I found out that I was pregnant I was terrified. I knew then that parenting was not an option I wanted to consider. Adoption solved that for me. BUT as the years have passed it has become so much more. It has become a very complicated and beautiful part of my life for which there is no off switch. I did not truly understand that when I made that decision so many years ago that it was going to forever change who I was as a woman, a mother, a human being. There is not one aspect of my life that my becoming a birth mother has not touched in some way or another, good and bad.
I have learned great and life changing lessons, I have overcome tragic and heartbreaking grief, I have experienced a love that is only found in this complex relationship. All things that I would never want to be without. It was never what I wanted for my life although as I look back at all that I have been through, all that I am now and all that I will become I can’t imagine my life without it.
This path of adoption has been one of great self-discovery. I have had to fight for a life after placement. I had to take great ownership over choices that I have made over the past 10 years, more bad than good. I have had to pick myself up and find great worth in my very existence. This journey has burned me to the ground but it has allowed for a beautiful rebuild from the ashes.
I don’t believe that adoption is right for everyone. It is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. There are many flaws and many gaps where change and reform is greatly needed. But, when I was at a crossroad I chose adoption. As I look at everything that has been created for my life since placement I would not choose any differently. I know that is easy for me to say as I stand here on the other side with such an incredible view.
God has guided my footsteps. God has forgiven a great many things in my life and performed amazing miracles. His atonement and promise to me has been the greatest gift through this journey. I know that it is because of Him and Him alone that I am able to stand today and say that I am a Birth Mother.
I love my son. He is always with me. He makes me so proud and he is a great joy in my life. I am deeply honored to know him and love him and to have had the sacred privilege to bring him into this world. The young man that he is becoming? That credit goes to his parents. They have kept their one promise to me. To take him and love him and raise him like he was their own, and if possible, let him know me.
Adoption is truly the most complex and beautiful thing that I have ever had the privilege of being associated with.
Ashley Mitchell, Owner Big Tough Girl
If you would like to follow along @bigtoughgirl check her our on instagram!
If you would like to know more about adoption please feel free to reach out to me anytime!