Man, this can be a tough one to navigate, but let’s be brave and do it anyway.
Everyday of the week I work with families who are adopting. God has laid something different on each families heart. Something He knows is right for them. For the husband or wife that has thrown off all fear, opened their heart and given God there “YES” , whatever that “yes” might look like, easy or hard they were all in for Him. I know that feeling, I’ve been there and it’s overwhelming in the way that you feel totally surrendered and vulnerable yet completely protected.
y’sWhen Tyler and I decided to adopt, we were greeted with hesitation from some family, and without even asking (and some offered without us asking) we knew not everyone in our family would be supportive of us adopting a child of a different race. This is gut wrenching for me, because I just feel so differently about it. I whole heartedly want to love the child that needs a family, not a child that fits into my families “picture”. I want to do the hard things that might end up setting me apart from others, but draws me closer to God.
To the Family adopting:
What God set on our heart, might not be the same as your families so be gentle with them as we navigate these roads and conversations together. God has given you the passion now turn that passion into meaningful conversations about what your family might look like going forward. This can be tough sometimes, because the comments might be brutal. Now you come to a crossroads. You get angry with an argument (we are human sometimes this happens) OR we show them an understanding type love we could only get from the Lord. When people come from a place of anger, it typically shuts down the opportunity to grow, learn and listen. To the family currently walking tough roads with your family having conversations about the race of your future child, stand firm in what God has spoken over your family and walk forward in faith knowing God is using you for big things friend. You might be the one to change the heart of family members, to break down walls that have been built up for far too long. It might just be the best thing that ever graced your family.
To the extended family struggling with race:
I challenge you. I challenge you to try to understand the heart of your child, brother, sister or loved one. They are doing this really brave, HARD, exhausting and scary thing called adoption. Friend, it is so hard. They need you in the biggest way, your support, prayers and acceptance. Try to remember that this is their family and only they can know what’s best. God has spoken something to them and can I just tell you no matter what baby is brought into your family, God is going to work on your heart too. He is going to show you a kind of love you could never imagine, Your heart is going to turn from hesitant to protective, Fearful to full of love, worried to proud, He is going to show you a child that loves you fully as well. He is preparing your entire family for something beautiful and although not easy I ask you to trust. Trust that the Lord doesn’t make mistakes, He doesn’t make accident’s or mishaps. He is almighty and building a beautiful thing here.
In a world that makes us believe that love can’t cross barriers, there is a God that demands that it can. I trust him more.
I have poured my heart over every inch of this song and I really think it could be an anthem of sorts. Let the words pour over your heart and believe them. God doesn’t give His heart in pieces and we shouldn’t either.
If you would like to learn more about domestic adoption or working with me and Christian Adoption Consultants I would love to chat. Casey@christianadoptionconsultants.com