I have found over the years that sometimes seeking and finding Jesus in the Hard and Messy can be easier than finding Him in the good and stable. This is so true in my own life. All those years of struggling to be a mama made me seek the His love in a way that was desperate. People always say that one day you’ll look back and see that there truly was purpose in the pain and you of course never see it at the time.
I always listen to worship music while I write. Here is today’s SONG
But low and behold, I see it now. I see that I went through a lot of pain and saddness, but it changed my life to want to live for the Lord. It made me fall in love with a God that I could only see by Faith. It made me long for a deeper more meaningful relationship with Jesus and I would take that pain, waiting and hurt a thousands times over to have that.
I have two beautiful babies, another miracle baby on the way, a husband that I crush on everyday of the week, and two jobs I love whole heartedly. Days will go by without me seeking the Lord intentionally, having time set aside just to be close to Him, praying before dinner because Im eating while standing up to make the kids something else for dinner because they won’t eat what I cooked. But closeness to Him can’t come second.
I recently grabbed a new devotional that I have always heard amazing things about and Im jumping in. This seems to be doable in the morning rush of life and I still feel that closeness when I am alone, reading, looking at the scripture that it is attached to and worship music playing. So I thought I would start sharing here as often as I can about what Im reading and pouring over.
This morning I read about..
How safe and secure I am in His presence.
How nothing can prevent me from reaching Him as long as my heart is His.
How we we won’t be separated.
How I need to continue to walk conciously with Him daily.
And then I read Psalm 29 and fell in love with it.
(Go check it out here)
So you see finding Jesus in the Hard is so much easier because we are desperate, but shouldn’t we be desperate all the time?
Im still working on it, too.